Module 4: Online Relationships and Sexting
This module covers the complex areas of online relationships and sexting. Teenage relationships have always been challenging and particularly difficult for some young people but with the added element of the internet and social media some of the challenges are really quite significant. We will explore some of the key issues and also provide links for further reading for those of you who want to learn more.
Some young people can feel under pressure to look and behave in a certain way when they are online. A Common Sense Media research brief on Children, Teens, Media and Body Image found that 35% of teens who were active on social networks reported having worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos; 27% reported feeling stressed out about how they look when they post pictures and 22% reported feeling bad about themselves when nobody comments on or “likes” the photos they post. Though boys and girls alike reported having these feelings, they were more common among girls. Girls often talk about needing to look a certain way when they are online and say that they are expected to live up to unrealistic expectations of what they should look like.
Trying to attain something which is clearly not reality (as seen in the video) provides a real challenge for young people. Not only does the pressure come from images that they might see both on and offline, it can come from social media and from their friends. Another report from the Children’s Society found that 34% of 10-15 year old girls were unhappy with their appearance and also noted that much of this unhappiness was due to pressure from social networking.
ACTIVITY
One of the challenges with technology today is that it’s very easy to manipulate images. Have a look at this site and see whether you can spot when images have been photoshopped. Was it easy?
4.1 Online identity
The Guardian
Any user of the internet is able to experiment with their identity when they go online. The internet and in particular social media sites can often provide a great platform to push boundaries and project a slightly different persona. This can be both positive and negative. There is the age old problem of knowing who you are actually talking to when you go online but equally it can be a great place to find others with similar interests, faiths, backgrounds, beliefs, ideals and sexuality.Some young people can feel under pressure to look and behave in a certain way when they are online. A Common Sense Media research brief on Children, Teens, Media and Body Image found that 35% of teens who were active on social networks reported having worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos; 27% reported feeling stressed out about how they look when they post pictures and 22% reported feeling bad about themselves when nobody comments on or “likes” the photos they post. Though boys and girls alike reported having these feelings, they were more common among girls. Girls often talk about needing to look a certain way when they are online and say that they are expected to live up to unrealistic expectations of what they should look like.
The video below shows clearly how images often portray an unrealistic representation.
Trying to attain something which is clearly not reality (as seen in the video) provides a real challenge for young people. Not only does the pressure come from images that they might see both on and offline, it can come from social media and from their friends. Another report from the Children’s Society found that 34% of 10-15 year old girls were unhappy with their appearance and also noted that much of this unhappiness was due to pressure from social networking.
ACTIVITY
One of the challenges with technology today is that it’s very easy to manipulate images. Have a look at this site and see whether you can spot when images have been photoshopped. Was it easy?
4.2 The net effect and online reputation
One thoughtless tweet can have long-lasting and potentially devastating consequences. We have all made a careless or ill-chosen comment at one point or another during our lives but when such comments or statements are made online using social media the potential for lots of people (rather than simply our own small circle of friends and acquaintances) to be aware of it grows exponentially. Justine Sacco found this out to her peril when she tweeted what she thought was a joke and ended up on the front page of many newspapers around the world. She was trending on Twitter but for all the wrong reasons as you will find out below.
Several years ago Danah Boyd spoke of the net effect where she described how being online changed the way that people behaved for a number of reasons. We have to remember that the socializing, the behaviour and development of adolescents haven’t really changed that much, but users of social media who are not thinking critically about what they are doing can get into trouble.
There are six key areas to consider:
There are six key areas to consider:
- Disinhibition – the lack of visual cues (in some online communication) can reduce empathy. The absence of body language, tone of voice, context and facial expressions can lead to people saying things online that they would never do in a face-to-face situation.
- Persistence and searchability – the internet provides a permanent searchable archive. Anything which goes online can stay online.
- Replicability – the internet provides the ability to copy and paste from anywhere to anywhere. In terms of online identity this can be problematic as a message or image intended for one person can easily be replicated and accessed by others. Users need to be able to trust the people they share content with. At another level the proliferation of free download sites such as putlocker, popcorn time and moveitube have led to widespread piracy and copyright violations with many young people thinking that it is acceptable to download content as it’s on the internet, I didn’t put it there so it must be okay.
- Scalability – as Justine Sacco discovered a careless tweet can change your life. She was making a business trip to South Africa and before she boarded her flight sent a tweet that she thought was amusing, making a comment about AIDS in Africa. It was very racist and offensive. Before her plane had landed in Cape Town she had been sacked but she had also become an internationally renowned hated figure. Her life has completely changed as a result. Her name was trending on Twitter for quite some time with millions of people appalled at what she had said. The viral nature of communication on the internet can be scary when it doesn’t work in your favour.
- Invisible audiences – if you post something publicly it is impossible to know who is watching or reading. It is very important to remember that not everyone will agree with you or see things from your point of view.
- Blurring of public and private – boundaries are unclear online. Although an individual may post something privately to a small group of followers, they can easily repost or retweet with unintended consequences.
ACTIVITY
A good activity to help students have a better understanding of online reputation is to ask them to Google their own name and use a people search engine https://pipl.com to see how much information there is online about them.
Try scrolling down the pipl results – were they surprised at how much information was there – or wasn’t there anything? Try the activity yourself first and see how much the internet knows about you!
Watch this video which highlights the importance of online reputation.
Experts suggest that it is not unusual for teenagers to share this type of content, particularly when they are in a relationship but part of the problem lies in the fact that there is a digital copy of the image which can easily be shared beyond the original intended recipient. Different countries have different responses to sexting and in some it is a criminal offence. For example in the UK the law states that it is illegal to take, make, possess or share indecent images of anyone under the age of 18. The law is there to protect children and young people from adults who may be exploiting them but it has also been used against young people themselves (see here).
A great deal of research has been done into sexting and most agree that young people do indeed see this as normal. Research from European countries in the Net Children Go Mobile study shows a varied picture. It can be difficult to establish just how prevalent sexting is, but young people themselves talk about it being quite common.
A much more recent piece of research launched on Safer Internet Day by the UK Safer Internet Centre found that 45% of 13-17 year olds had seen nude or nearly nude photos of someone that they knew being shared around their school or local community.
The Safer Internet Centres have produced a wide range of resources which can be useful in supporting children and young people who have been involved in sexting as well as in raising awareness and encouraging some debate about possible consequences.
The Irish Safer Internet Centre has published an excellent resource aimed at younger pupils. It includes an animation and six lesson plans covering the following areas:
The full resource can be downloaded from https://www.webwise.ie/lockers
Virtuali paskaita suaugusiems, ugdantiems vaikus „Sekstingas: pavojai ir pagalbos būdai vaikams“ [paskelbta 2017-03-29]
Resources for teachers on body image from Dove – this is a set of 3 downloadable lessons which include videos, worksheets and activities aimed at helping to boost young people’s body confidence.
A guide to sexting – from the Greek Safer Internet Centre and available in English, Greek, Spanish, Albanian and French
A guide for teachers on how to deal with sexting when it has happened – the poster aims to limit possible emotional damage for those involved and restore calm and social safety in school.
Think Before You Share is an initiative which encourages users to think carefully about the content that they are sharing online and which provides tips on how to fix things that have gone wrong. The PDF can be accessed here http://mediasmarts.ca/sites/mediasmarts/files/pdfs/tipsheet/TipSheet_Think_Before_You_Share_2.pdf
End Bullying Be Kind Online is another initiative which aims to tackle LGBT abuse. A PDF can be accessed here https://fbnewsroomus.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/lgbt_guide_uk.pdf
A guide to staying safe on Facebook was produced with Women’s Aid in Ireland and contains information dedicated to women at risk – possibly who have been victims of domestic violence or who have been targeted by an ex-partner. It can be downloaded here https://fbnewsroomus.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/womensaidirelandfacebooksafetyguide.pdf
Safety Centre - https://www.facebook.com/safety
This has lots of practical tools and tips including videos. The content is available in over 50 languages and there are lots of PDFs which can be downloaded and well as information on how to connect with experts locally.
Bullying Prevention Hub - https://www.facebook.com/safety/bullying
This was developed in partnership with the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence. It has recently been refreshed and is a resource for teens, parents and educators who are seeking support and help for issues related to bullying. It offers step-by-step plans including guidance on how to start important conversations for people being bullied. This is focused on actions and signposts to experts in different countries.
Parents Portal - https://www.facebook.com/safety/parents
The idea of the parent portal is to enable parents to have conversations with their children about what they are doing online and who they are connecting with.
Privacy Checkup - https://www.facebook.com/help/443357099140264/
The Privacy Checkup helps you review who can see your posts and info from your profile, like your phone number and email address. It also shows you your settings for apps you’ve logged into with Facebook.
You can use the Privacy Checkup to review and adjust your privacy settings to help make sure that you’re sharing with who you want.
Pokalbis dėl darbo
4.3 Sexting
Sexting is a word which describes the sending of personal sexual content, most commonly nude or nearly nude images. The term was originally used by the Australian press about seven years ago now and since then has become a serious challenge for children, young people and their teachers and parents. danah boyd (a social media expert from the US) noted that teen sexting is a very rational act with very irrational consequences. The video below summarises the issue well and helps to explain some of the key challenges.
Experts suggest that it is not unusual for teenagers to share this type of content, particularly when they are in a relationship but part of the problem lies in the fact that there is a digital copy of the image which can easily be shared beyond the original intended recipient. Different countries have different responses to sexting and in some it is a criminal offence. For example in the UK the law states that it is illegal to take, make, possess or share indecent images of anyone under the age of 18. The law is there to protect children and young people from adults who may be exploiting them but it has also been used against young people themselves (see here).
A great deal of research has been done into sexting and most agree that young people do indeed see this as normal. Research from European countries in the Net Children Go Mobile study shows a varied picture. It can be difficult to establish just how prevalent sexting is, but young people themselves talk about it being quite common.
A much more recent piece of research launched on Safer Internet Day by the UK Safer Internet Centre found that 45% of 13-17 year olds had seen nude or nearly nude photos of someone that they knew being shared around their school or local community.
The Safer Internet Centres have produced a wide range of resources which can be useful in supporting children and young people who have been involved in sexting as well as in raising awareness and encouraging some debate about possible consequences.
The Irish Safer Internet Centre has published an excellent resource aimed at younger pupils. It includes an animation and six lesson plans covering the following areas:
- The law on sharing intimate content
- When online sharing goes wrong
- Victim blaming
- Peer pressure and non-consensual sharing
- The influence of media and gender stereotypes
- Getting help
The full resource can be downloaded from https://www.webwise.ie/lockers
Young people themselves can often provide education for their younger peers on some of these issues and it is widely recognised that peer education can be very effective. It is important to note that sometimes the advice given by young people can differ from the standard responses that teachers might suggest. For example in a peer education workshop on sexting some 16 year old girls said that
if you’re going to send naked images to your boyfriend just make sure that your head isn’t in the picture and that no tattoos or piercings are visible – that way no one can prove that it’s you.
This varies from the more usual messages which tell young people not to do it. However when research suggests that this is quite a widespread phenomenon it is perhaps understandable that some young people think it is quite normal.
If you would like to read more about this type of approach then please read “Beyond Sexting” which is an interesting position paper from Yfoundations Youth Health Sector Support officer Jessie Hunt.
ACTIVITY
Do you know what the laws are around sexting and indecent images in your country? Research this topic and try and find out what the situation is in your country. This site may help as a starting point and you may also find some useful information from your Safer Internet Centre (if your country has one). Share your findings and any interesting national resources on the topic in the forum. You can create a thread for your country if it’s not already there.
(The online lecture for adults educating children "Sexting: threats and ways to help children")
4.4 Sextortion
Sextortion is a relatively new phenomena which is causing a great deal of concern. It involves individuals being persuaded to share sexual content, often believing that they are in a relationship (albeit online) with the other person. Once images or videos have been shared, they are asked either to pay a certain amount of money in order to prevent the images being shared publicly, or they are asked to send more content, often more extreme. This video provides a brief overview of sextortion and highlights the key issues
As you would imagine sextortion causes considerable distress and concern particularly for younger users and unfortunately some young people have committed suicide as they felt unable to speak to anyone about what had happened. Law enforcement recognise that in many cases this is being carried out by criminal gangs who are making millions and often working as organised teams on shifts and being paid bonuses if they managed to extort more money from unwitting victims.
If you would like to learn more about sextortion then this video gives a more detailed overview of the issue, explains how gangs are operating and the pressure it can put on users who made an error of judgement by sending the content in the first place. Young people should always try to take a screenshot of any threatening or coercive messages as this could provide useful evidence of what has happened to them.
ACTIVITY
There are many excellent resources which can support young people in learning more about sexting, online relationships and body image – please use the padlet to share one resource that you have already used with pupils in the past or one that you have identified through this module that you plan to use in the future. Please share links to the actual resources where possible and briefly identify how you used it or plan on using it as well as why you think this resources is of particular interest to use with your class.
ACTIVITY
There are many excellent resources which can support young people in learning more about sexting, online relationships and body image – please use the padlet to share one resource that you have already used with pupils in the past or one that you have identified through this module that you plan to use in the future. Please share links to the actual resources where possible and briefly identify how you used it or plan on using it as well as why you think this resources is of particular interest to use with your class.
Remember that there are many resources available on the BIK portal (https://www.betterinternetforkids.eu/web/portal/resources/gallery) where you can search by keyword and also by language and age of pupils.
4.5 Additional Resources
Body Image
Is my image edited? A tool to test whether images have been edited or photo shopped. You can just drop any image or photo into the tool and find out if the original has been altered in any way.Resources for teachers on body image from Dove – this is a set of 3 downloadable lessons which include videos, worksheets and activities aimed at helping to boost young people’s body confidence.
Sexting
So you got naked online – this resource was created by SWGfL (part of the UK Safer Internet Centre) and is available in Danish and EnglishA guide to sexting – from the Greek Safer Internet Centre and available in English, Greek, Spanish, Albanian and French
A guide for teachers on how to deal with sexting when it has happened – the poster aims to limit possible emotional damage for those involved and restore calm and social safety in school.
Useful resources following the webinar with Facebook
Help centre: This contains a wealth of information and can be accessed here https://www.facebook.com/help/Think Before You Share is an initiative which encourages users to think carefully about the content that they are sharing online and which provides tips on how to fix things that have gone wrong. The PDF can be accessed here http://mediasmarts.ca/sites/mediasmarts/files/pdfs/tipsheet/TipSheet_Think_Before_You_Share_2.pdf
End Bullying Be Kind Online is another initiative which aims to tackle LGBT abuse. A PDF can be accessed here https://fbnewsroomus.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/lgbt_guide_uk.pdf
A guide to staying safe on Facebook was produced with Women’s Aid in Ireland and contains information dedicated to women at risk – possibly who have been victims of domestic violence or who have been targeted by an ex-partner. It can be downloaded here https://fbnewsroomus.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/womensaidirelandfacebooksafetyguide.pdf
Safety Centre - https://www.facebook.com/safety
This has lots of practical tools and tips including videos. The content is available in over 50 languages and there are lots of PDFs which can be downloaded and well as information on how to connect with experts locally.
Bullying Prevention Hub - https://www.facebook.com/safety/bullying
This was developed in partnership with the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence. It has recently been refreshed and is a resource for teens, parents and educators who are seeking support and help for issues related to bullying. It offers step-by-step plans including guidance on how to start important conversations for people being bullied. This is focused on actions and signposts to experts in different countries.
Parents Portal - https://www.facebook.com/safety/parents
The idea of the parent portal is to enable parents to have conversations with their children about what they are doing online and who they are connecting with.
Privacy Checkup - https://www.facebook.com/help/443357099140264/
The Privacy Checkup helps you review who can see your posts and info from your profile, like your phone number and email address. It also shows you your settings for apps you’ve logged into with Facebook.
You can use the Privacy Checkup to review and adjust your privacy settings to help make sure that you’re sharing with who you want.
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